Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Things are Different Now

It just doesn’t seem right… to let Memorial Day, that is, go by without a mention here. I almost got it done, but am 42 minutes late now with starting. {I’m sitting on the floor of our hotel bathroom typing in the wee hours of the morning. More later…}

I’d been thinking all day about it, and really all week and weekend. Things are different now. It’s not that I didn’t appreciate and honor Memorial Day and Veteran’s Day before, but… things are different now. Sometimes I wonder if being just barely three months into our journey as a military family justifies our small sacrifices thus far as other military families past and present. Hmmm, definitely yes and sometimes no maybe. I want to apologize early, as this will be a rambling post. You know, one of those late-night-can’t-sleep-sneak-quietly-out-of-bed posts. {I already feel like my thoughts from lying awake in bed are escaping me…} I like rambling, though, as it gets the thoughts of the heart and mind out, at least. You see, now I’m rambling about rambling… Back to the subject at hand.

What did we do as a new military family on Memorial Day? We enjoyed Daddy at home, of course. {We must remember, though, that so many military families aren’t as lucky as we are to have their loved ones at home this Monday.} We are also relaxing as a family for a few days this week at a fancy resort around the corner from our house. Mark has time off for two weeks before his intense anesthesia schooling starts, and it’s suggested that a vacation and much family time is taken advantage of during this time before. We’re going to do just that, taking a vacation five minutes from home, splashing in the pools and loving our family at a resort that I’ve driven past many times on my way to Target, figuring we’d never be able to stay at ourselves. God bless those businesses that give such blessings to service men and women and their families through both big and small military discounts. I’m learning quickly that military families are very much appreciated in this city…

We weren’t able to make it to church last Sunday due to one yucky tummy at home, but we watched our Memorial Day service streaming live right to our couch. {Ain’t technology grand!?} As the patriotic songs blared over the laptop speakers and the images of red, white, and blue flashed on the screen, I couldn’t help but get choked up. Half way through, Isabella looked up and asked why my nose was red. Instead of being embarrassed and brushing it off, I was honest with her. “Mommy’s just proud of Memorial Day and Daddy, and sometimes that makes me cry. Being proud…” Thank goodness maybe that we weren’t in church, as having my husband stand among others when “United States Army” was announced might have just sent me over the edge into a blubbering, emotional fool. {You see, I’m the one who always starts crying anyways when one of my favorite praise songs is played either on the radio or at church. I’m not sure that Memorial Day emotions, praise song emotions, and pregnancy emotions go well together… I bet a sour tummy at home was God’s way of saving Mommy from total new-church embarrassment…} :)

Seriously, though, I feel honored to be among those families serving, even if I feel a bit insignificant now against those spouses who don’t have their husbands or wives home with them now. My children don’t have to be missing their Daddy now, as they sit on his lap and swim in his arms. We know how blessed we are for the present and this time together. Mark keeps telling me, “it’s these times that we’re able to have because of this that we’ll have to enjoy and remember to get us through the hard times.”

I’m certain and know deep down that we will be that family one day years down the road who is apart, though. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there,” I always say. I know I’ll be that wife at home, sleeping alone, wondering how I’ll get through another day missing my husband, not knowing… Sometimes I wonder if our little one moving and growing inside me {or another!?} will add to the difficulties of being alone as a “single parent” during those times. Crazy? I don’t think so. I know that my hands and heart will be busy with our little ones, keeping me focused. God will provide the help I need from others. Faith will get us through, and I pray that faith helps those who are experiencing separation and deployment now will help get them through.

I have a hard time listening and watching a lot of things now on the radio or television having to do with war or the military. It’s a lot more “real” for me now. In a way, though, I’m thankful that I’m no longer ignorant to an extent to it all. I have a more tangible, deeper appreciation for those who have served in the past or are presently serving and sacrificing. Did I ever dream that we would be one of those families serving? Not in a million years. Am I glad that we are now? Definitely. We’re among good, loyal, proud company. To our family members and bloggy friends’ families that I know and love who are serving, thank you. It means the world to us…


bass family said...

That's beautiful - thank you for sharing! Happy Memorial Day.

Kathi @ A Mother's Prayers said...

You are so sweet.

Yes, Enjoy your mini-Vacation. It will be precious to your family to have spent that time together.

Your kiddos will help you make it through those long and not-so-long deployments. Perhaps that's why we are blessed with so many ?.?.?...

And, it doesn't matter that you haven't been a Military Spouse very long, you are still a Military Spouse. Your Pride and Courage show.

Your post is Wonderful. I'm so glad we are friends.

Warren Baldwin said...

When I found your blog I clicked on the label "faith" and came to this article. It is a very moving post. We pray regularly for military families at our church and in private prayer. Thanks to all of you who put your lives and families on the line.