Thursday, November 12, 2009

Bit in the Rear, Part 2

...So fast-forward 5 1/2 hours later after feverishly cleaning like a mad-woman (and man... Thank you very much, Honey.); feeding the kids fast food for lunch; and sending Mark to Target {smooch, smooch} for paper towels, Clorox wipes, 409 spray, and fresh flowers & green apples for staging.

{And yes, dirty laundry was put into trash bags and hidden, clean laundry stuffed back into the dryer, and although not done this time, I have put dirty dishes in the warming drawer or dishwasher with clean dishes!!! So glad I'm not the only one!}

It was finally 2:30 and time to leave for the hour. (Mark had already left shortly before and was going to meet us later. So, this next part is all me and my brilliant handlings...) I threw the two big, still pajama-clad kids in their carseats and ran upstairs to grab the baby who had just woken from his afternoon nap. Poopy. No really... Poopy diaper. Ugh! I don't have time for a poopy diaper! What if they come a few minutes early and walk in to my half-naked, poop-covered son on the floor!? What if? What I'm to say next, I'm not proud of, but I'm putting it all out there. Yes, I put him in his carseat poop and all, threw in a diaper and wipes, and screeched out of the driveway with 9 minutes to spare. (There, I said it...) First stop... The park a mile down the road for a diaper change! Ahem. "No, kids, I'm sorry we can't play. You still have your pajamas on and no shoes!" Ahem. Ahem.

Then, as always, we stalk our own home for part of the hour, driving by half-a-dozen times. Did they show? What kind of car do they drive? Can you see them in the windows? Are they sitting at the kitchen table writing a big, fat check? Please tell me that we're not the only ones that do this. Please.

Driving by the 1st time at roughly 2:49... Nobody there yet.
Driving by for the 2nd time at roughly 2:59... Nobody there yet. {Oh, no I didn't...}
Driving by for the 3rd time at roughly 3:14... Nobody there yet. {Oh, yes I did...}

Did anybody catch on yet? In "Bit in the Rear, Part 1" when I received the phone call from the realtor's office, they wanted to set up the showing for 3:45-4:45. Notice the times above again. Yes-sirree. I half-killed myself to leave home a full hour early, poopy baby and all. By this time, I had stopped back home to double-check the time that I had jotted down on scrap paper that morning. 3:45. Great! At least now I can get the kids some quick hobo-looking outfits and shoes to take them to the park. Leaving a message for Mark then, I confessed that yes, he was right. He had asked me earlier in the day about nap time, since the showing was at 3:45. "Nooo, it's at 2:45. No naps!" He was right twice in one day. Twice.

After all was said and done, the party did come through the house, since we found the lights off and candles blown out when we returned. (No, we didn't drive by 9 times again to check! We were at the park with ice cream, thankyouverymuch.) We just got the feedback emailed this morning from our realtor about this showing... The buyer wasn't sure of our layout. So what if the master bedroom is the size of a "child's shoebox" with the "master bath" two floors down in the basement? {insert "Tommy Boy" air quotes...} So what? Deal with it and make an offer! It's the least they could do for what they put me through...

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13 comments:

Lenae said...

Kate, this made me laugh so much! Wow... What an ordeal. No worries about your jammie-clad/loaded-diaper-wearing kids; I mean,they DID get ice cream, after all. And you know if my husband didn't have an enlistment to finish, we'd buy your house in a heartbeat! ;)

This Heavenly Life said...

I promise...I'm only laughing WITH you :) So funny. And so normal...no worries. Yes, the least they could do is buy the house after all that rigamarole.

Lissa said...

oh boy! listing a house is one of THE most stressful things!! good luck!

design gal said...

oh man! i'm so sorry! but your story cracked me up! i totally used to drive by the house during selling times!

oh, and at least you were EARLY!!! once, i fogot someone was coming to look at the house and got in the shower, only to come out as they were walking down the hall...oh, and i forgot to shut the door. needless to say, they didn't make an offer

LeAnna said...

Agh! That does sound stressful! Hopefully you'll get it sold soon. Too funny about hubby being right twice in one day, that cracked me up.

Farmgirl Paints said...

Oh what a pain. I would hate that. The joys of selling a home in this market!! Keep reminding yourself...all it takes is one:) Have a great weekend.

Christina said...

Oy! I hate moving! I hope you don't have any more of those experiences. Although in the end it did work out to your advantage. There is nothing like a stranger seeing inside your home to light a fire under your...well, you know. Especially someone who might be buying it! For me, it was just the bug spray guy, but I still got a move on!

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

Not only is listing a house super stressful, but it's even more stressful with little ones!! Been there, done that... I feel your pain!

vanessa said...

Now I can't remember how I found your blog but I am glad I did! It is fantastic! And you read a lot of the blogs I do I see on your blog roll, nice to meet you! :)

Such The Spot said...

I hate to sound like a know it all. I really do. But yes. I noticed that your timing was off. That's just a defect I was born with though.

As for your hubby being right, twice in one day. SHHH! He's bound to grow an ego or something. :)

Christy, the Notable Blogger said...

Way to keep it real! Thanks for the chuckle.

~love said...

oh, how i know the antics of showing your home. we've built 3 times and been a model home for my husband's company during different times. so much work. hope the perfect people come SOON! =)

Heidi said...

This is a great post! Hilarious! We've sold 2 houses and I can totally relate!